x[ .Bisikan Nurani. ]x

salams.

hey there.
i'm quite at loss as of how i should put my words into places. it seems funny though.
one moment my head will be filled with lots of things that i'd wish to pen down every single bits of it.
but when reality hits in, i'd just turn blank.

i don't know whats in store for me now.
i thought turning to you was the best option.
well, it is indeed the best option afterall, and suppose to be.
i keep thinking about the times we had together, the few nights back being the close ones.
i was practically pouring out my heart to you about everything, be it about the job, about the house, about the people.. about love..
about the loneliness i feel.

i know you listened to every single bit. you even enlightened me on certain things.
but what was that incident all about?
i was doing so fine and then you suddenly showed me there's another side of it.
and you know what, my actions were even questioned whether is it genuine or not. or how confident i was that the answers i got were 100% true.
that ripped my heart.
well, your other side cannot be confident too that the signs showing were true, just because there's something coming in the way that shows the same.

because it makes me think that all these are a big joke. damn big you know.
how could you possibly make two things happen differently at the same time?
given your abilities, pardon me for questioning.
but... but.. this is really getting me nowhere.

it's really draining my energy. i'm not even sure if i can reach the finish line.
you saw me cry. you heard my sobs. you understand my plight.
but why do i feel like you're just giving me false hope?
holding on to something so weak and fragile?
you guided me on what to look out for.
but all that happened, where were you guiding me actually?

*sobs*
i wish.. i really wish.. if things are not gona be the way you make me believe it will be, then please take away every single pieces.
make me forget.