haiz..

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh~.
In the name of Allah, the Most Compassionate and the Most Merciful.

words...
can either make you.
or break you.
build you up.
or tear you down.

i woke up this morning sobbing away. i thought sleeping was going to make things better but i ended up having a bad dream instead. i really felt bad. and with the pain spreading all over, it somehow shuts off my mind. haiz..

the pain got unbearable when Mak scolded me for something i didn't do. earlier, i got up and showered, dressed up and packed my bag with planner and pencil box. i wanted to just go somewhere and destress myself. i left the house without kissing Mak as she was in the toilet but she knew i was going out. when i reached the traffic light, i realized her money was in my blouse's pocket. so i walked back home to put the money. she was still in the toilet when i reached home so i just placed it on the table inside her room then walked out again. when i reached MRT, she called me and practically shouted at me on the phone, accussing me for taking the money as it was short of some bucks.

tell me.. who wouldn't feel so hurt when your own blood labelled you as a thief? i tried telling her the real situation but she just didn't want to hear me out. she even cut through my talking. she slammed down the phone and i decided to go back home and give her the amount that I had in hand. my tears just won't stop falling down as I walked back, with her voice ringing through my head, calling me a thief. haiz. i stepped into the house, put the money on the table then walked out back and texted him, hoping he could at least be the one there at that point of time. but my text went unreplied. i knew he meant it. i knew he was mad.

i couldn't think anymore. my head hurts. i broke down at the staircase few blocks away. i cried so hard wishing i could just vanish for the moment. suddenly i feel so lonely and cold. what a bad day to start with. sobbing away, i dragged myself towards the MRT and went to Raffles. i texted abang about the situation.
went to sit at the steps near Moulana and reflected on everything. felt so empty. even texts from love and honey couldn't help easing the emptiness. about an hour or so, took bus to J.East and stayed at the library for quite some time. then i took the train again to town.

*sighs*
now im practically nowhere, no cash, nobody to turn to. and definitely i won't be going home tonight. handphone's battery going flat soon.

i'm so alone.

p/s: i'm really sorry. break me all you want. but hear me out.. *sobs* it's killing me.